Sober. Love Harder.

Saturday morning I was at the office by 6:30, while everyone slept.  Sunday morning Allie and I were out the door by 7:15–headed to run.   Clearly, I don’t know what to do with my weekends.

Allie was excited to head to the race, and after we got there and the sleep wore off, so was I.

It wasn’t just any race, it was a race to raise awareness about ovarian cancer–a silent killer of many women because it often goes undiagnosed.  I’ve run the past couple of years for my friend, Mary Kay, because her mom was taken from her too soon, too.

As we walked around, this was a hard reminder why I should not do these races, but also a reminder of exactly why I should.

The National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) is not a huge run, it’s nothing compared to the size of the Komen races. There aren’t a ton of participants. But the majority of the participants who are there are closely tied to a survivor or are there in memory of someone. There was a beautiful mom and her teenage daughter and family there.  I hid behind my sunglasses watching them and thinking how horrible that must be.

But there was inspiration despite the overwhelming sadness I felt thinking of my mom. This race was a strong reminder about why we were there: solidarity, awareness, and support.  Of all of the signs and shirts that I saw, these stood out to me:

photo 1

This was on the jogging stroller of twins as their mom pushed them along:

photo 2

This was on the back of a shirt people were wearing in memory of someone who lost their battle:

photo (6)

That got me to thinking, I wonder what people will think when they look back at me? Damn, she was a good worker and it’s awesome she was at the office! Why in the world would I want the ones I love to think that? EVER.  Do I really want my kids to think the dishes were more important than sitting with them after school? Ava says I don’t really joke or laugh. She’s right.

The race was a damn good reality check, and so was the sobering loss of Diana’s beautiful boy Kaden this afternoon, that we need to put the crap aside and focus on the important stuff. THE NOW. The people and love present right here and right now in front of us.

I’m constantly struggling with being present, even if I am always there. It’s going to be put at the top of my priority list for things I’m going to work on.  So here’s my list of 3:

photo (7)


If you’re the praying type, please pray for Diana, her husband Sam, their daughter Bella, and Kaden (who is now with his brothers Julian and Preston in heaven).


4 thoughts on “Sober. Love Harder.

  1. ((hugs)) I’m running a prostate cancer 5K with my dad in a few weeks and am nervous about how it will be for us. I am so blessed to still have him in my life.

    And this? is so true. “we need to put the crap aside and focus on the important stuff. THE NOW.” I struggle with this daily, but am working at it.

  2. I ran the Komen 5Ks for a bunch of years and they were always hard races because a lot of people would have signs for family members or that they were survivors. It’s hard to run when you are constantly choked up.

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