Holy hell. What a week it’s been. Actually the last few weeks. But this week, despite the fact that I work for the state, I’ve put in a couple 11 hour days, I went in to the office on Sunday, and I barely ate because I was so tired/stressed/busy and just didn’t take the time.
But today, for the most part, the big stuff is done. The project I’d been working on came to fruition.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been nervous about presenting at a meeting. In my other life as an election law attorney, I was used to presenting election law to groups of up to 900 people. I didn’t bat an eye.
But this was different. I think that it’s because despite the fact that I came up with speeches and regurgitated the law, it was manufactured. There’s really only so many ways to teach people that you can’t make someone present a photo ID when they vote. I’m not a funny presenter like Heather, and I just don’t do big fancy power points.
This time, the project said “Jess” all over it. It was my baby. If ever the OCD/Type A in me came out, it was in the last big couple of projects I’ve been working on. I literally got to rewrite and reorganize massive amounts of information. For a nerd like me who likes things just so, that’s like heaven.
For an OCD person like me, that means lots of headaches and revisions and stress over making things look perfect because you want to proudly say, “I DID THAT.” It means countless hours when it would have been good enough days ago. But it’s worth it.
Today, despite the nerves and large crowd for our meeting (a rarity), I did my thing and it was awesome. My edits and my web redesign were a hit. I was terrified that the project I’d literally thrown myself into would be disregarded or unappreciated, or maybe would just be underwhelming to the audience. But it wasn’t. And I was proud.
In case you didn’t know, Type A people like to get gold stars and all As on their report cards. We like pats on the back and a cookie for a good job.
All the hours. The late nights. The crazy Rain Man moments where I grabbed a notebook at 11 at night and made notes about layouts and titles, so worth it.
So tonight, I rewarded myself with Freddy’s. I got a patty melt, chili cheese fries, and a banana, PB and chocolate concrete (like a shake but ice cream). Hell yeah I went overboard and started off my early weekend right. With the stress, success, exhaustion, lack of sustenance and who knows what else, I felt like I earned it.