It’s no secret I haven’t been myself lately. There are bad days and worse days and then there are not so horrible days. Luckily the past few days have been mostly good days. Depression is a sneaky bitch that way. You tend to second guess the happy or live preoccupied worried that the blah will be right around the corner.
Fridays are my happy. Especially toward the end of the day when I know I’m on my way to pick up my funny little Allie. I know that I’ve got at least 48 hours of unaccounted for time (mostly) with my loves and I want to soak it all up.
Our weekends are usually pretty uneventful. No big parties. No bar scene. Usually nothing pressing. It’s just the way I like it. And lately, it’s just what I need.
I got in a much needed run. Despite my in laws dealing with snow (I’m totally jealous, because this is Texas and the coldest it’s been is 32 without a flake of snow this winter) I ran in the beautiful sun. Running is vital. I know I need to do it for my mind and body. I love it. The view doesn’t hurt either, but like a toddler refusing to nap, I’m afraid that those 30 or 40 minutes of me time will mean that I miss something that I should be doing. Shockingly, everything is just fine when I come back. Only I’m that much better.
I painted the girls’ toenails (and mine–blue FTW). Allie insisted on a rainbow. I was never a “paint your baby’s nails” kind of mom, but you know how the second time mom stuff goes. Plus it was so damn cute that she stayed still and wanted her toes done just like Ava’s. We strolled around Home Depot as I pushed them both in the cart and we looked at flowers, lights and everything in between.
I sat quietly next to Ava enjoying my coffee while Ava was in Sunday school. For the record, the McDonald’s vanilla latte is fabulous and super cheap (compared to my drink at Starbucks). I highly recommend it. I even managed to jot a couple notes down in my journal while she was busy. It’s becoming such a good tool.
But then Sunday evening comes and I wonder where the time all went. I scurry around after the girls are in bed and prep my oatmeal, iron clothes, gather all the things the girls need for school that week. I know come Monday morning the thought of starting the week again will slow me down and I’ll inevitably forget something if it is not exactly next to the door.
But it’s weekends like this one that keep me pushing through the week and towards the time I get to retreat back to my safe and cozy little piece of the world that I love more than anything. Because bad day, good or in between, there’s no need to put on a face. It’s just Jess.