And then, and then…Just Breathe.

Some days I wake up and know I’m ready to kick ass and make things happen. Yesterday was one of them. Nothing on the calendar, just finishing up a project and whatever may come may way.

I dropped Allie off at school and thought, “she is truly happy there. That makes me so happy to know she loves school.” I smiled and even though I know it’s because she’s actually old enough to express content, she’s also old enough to (and very capable of) sharing her extreme displeasure as well. She’s learning and can point out her colors and I know I made a great choice sending her there.

I got to work in great time, despite the looming fog and sat to get to business.  And then….the day started.

I freaked out as my Outlook calendar popped up to remind me of a meeting in 15 minutes.  And I hadn’t gotten confirmation from an outside visitor that needed to attend.  I frantically sent a reminder email and got up and going.  Then I realized the meeting had been cancelled and was next week.  But the visitor was on her way.  Shit.

Luckily she’s awesome and we had a great chat and she wasn’t upset at all (I knew she wouldn’t be).

Then I started in work mode and a million things came up while trying to work on a project that needed to end.

And then.

And then.

And then.

Of all days I didn’t bring my stuff to run at lunch, I desperately needed to run before my head spun off my neck, Linda Blair style. But on this day I had decided that I would be kind to my knees and let them take a break.

Spinning.

Spinning.

Spinning.

I hate that feeling.  That anxiety feeling where your head knows there’s a million things to do and you know they won’t get done while you dwell on the fact that there’s so much to do, and ohmygodhelp it’s never going to get done!  Running helps me quell that a bit.   note to self: don’t just leave yoga pants here, leave some running clothes and shoes here too.

Sigh.  Lunch on the floor and a quick nap and I was back at it.

Rush.

Rush.

Spinning head.

Work.

Stuff.

Rush.

I hurriedly worked past the time I normally leave.  Dad took over dance day duties. Phew. I finished  working and rushed off to get Allie.

Breeeeeeathe.

And just like that I could breathe again.  Knowing that work would wait for me tomorrow.  Knowing that my baby girl would happily take the 100 kisses as I squished all over her and smothered her after the day that flew by but would never end.  Knowing that I’d be driving home to my house and could change and be with my babies.

Luckily it was just anxiety.  Factor in the blahs and that’s just absolutely miserable.

I’m working on getting it back in check.  Till then all I can do is breathe and know that I can get it done and it’ll all be ok.

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2 thoughts on “And then, and then…Just Breathe.

  1. Jess- First and foremost….thanks for sharing your life via your blog. Second… I am so sorry that the stress is making you feel hurt… you know Jess I am praying for you. Feeling like you cannot breathe for eight to ten hours, five days a week, might seem hopeless. ..but I see you are confidant in the hope…knowing that the “stuff” of this life are only temporary . . . I so more than understand how you feel…so I just wanted to say… Jess I pray that during this day restoration and renewal of peace be yours. Have a blessed day.

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