Time.

Time has been flying. It went from anticipation of Halloween, then surgery, then Thanksgiving, and now Ava’s birthday. Seriously it’s like we’re living life as a series of events to look forward to. But somehow that feels wrong.

There’s definitely a lot going on in between. Walks. Work. Dance class.

And now I’m waiting for my brother and nephew to visit this week from Japan. Just in time for Ava’s party. I couldn’t be more pumped.

We’ve celebrated Thanksgiving.  Seen Shamu.  Had lunch with friends. Decorated the house, inside and out (mostly). Visited Santa.

I’ve been making to do lists like a fiend lately. I’m all about them. I blame Allie because after her, my brain went to crap. There’s work lists, party lists, daily lists that have things as simple as “grab the bag next to the door,” and grocery lists. If I don’t write it down, I honestly forget. Like minutes later. It’s bad.

Life is always a rush for me. I don’t know how to go slow. I don’t relax. I don’t like sitting and reading a magazine when there’s a million other things to be done.  I don’t make time for things I want. Blogging. Running. Reading.

But with time passing, and things to do, there’s also the events and anniversaries you don’t look forward to because they break your heart all over again.  Like the anniversary of Ava’s classmate who passed away a year ago Wednesday.  Or the 6th Christmas without my mom.  You’re reminded that life is too short to be worrying about everything that’s “in the way” on the way to the next big milestone.  It’s all the “in the way” stuff where the memories are made.

Time doesn’t stop.  But I can.  And I’m trying to slow down.

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