The Beach: A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time, there was a silly girl named Jess who went to the beach. She loved watching her babies play in the sand and the sea.

One afternoon, her baby was eating puffs. They got covered in sand so the baby was cut off.

Jess had a genius idea.

“I know! Baby likes the birds, let’s find a seagull to give these too!”

Genius.

Only it wasn’t.

She tracked the bird down. Then one turned into five.

“How fun and exciting!” They all thought. “Let’s get some goldfish since we ran out of puffs.” What could go wrong?

So she ran to get the crackers before they flew off.

Ha. Ha!

They did fly. But they all flew to her. Tons of them. No less than 25. And they did not wait patiently in the sand. Oh no.

They hovered.

And stalked.

They waited and caught the crackers mid air.

Then the stupid girl carrying a baby became worried. The birds might swoop at her. And her baby. They are following.

Don’t those stupid birds know she is no longer playing?

Finally they got the hint. And she learned her lesson.

Moral of the story, my friends?

Seagulls are crazy stalkers. With skills. Don’t feed them. Ever.

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3 thoughts on “The Beach: A Cautionary Tale

  1. Jess, thanks so much for sharing this, I needed a story to be a tension/stress reducer of craptastic awesomeness occurring in my life. The way u told the story allowed me to experience and laugh along with you! That’s awesome,Really. Thanks. Sorry for the experience. But thanks for sharing!

  2. OMG…this reminded me of a time when I was a little girl. My Dad bought me french fries at a fair. I started to walk towards the picnic tables when a seagul flew at me out of no where…then there were more…and more…and one swooped down and grabbed some fries. I remember taking them and throwing them over my shoulder.
    We call them shit-gulls around here because that’s all they do…and prey on innocent people

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