Today was a sad day for me as a mama. It started with a sickly baby who needed cuddles till 2:30 this morning when she finally let me put her in my bed. Then while feeding her at 6 in hopes she would go back to sleep (she did) I stay the news.
The fear that there are such sadistic, sick, evil humans that can take an experience as unsuspecting as going to the movies and make it deadly.
It made me sick for our world.
I dropped Ava off at school this morning. All her friends were already out there. We were a bit late. She wouldn’t hold my hand.
I didn’t push it because obviously I didn’t want to embarrass her. Sting.
She’s getting so grown up.
We were all home early so we went to the mall like a family.
We got Ava some new Crocs. Super cute, I promise. Those big clunky uglies are no more. Anyway, she was looking through the Jibbitz to find some for her shoes. They’re like little lapel pins.
She thoughtfully browsed them all.
They have Dora!
Yeah, you’re too big.
Oh look! The princesses.
She continued looking.
She’s not a baby anymore. She’s outgrowing that stuff. A little. She walked away with some lovely jeweled heart ones.
So when she asked for a new Build A Bear? How could we say no?
It may seem silly to think a fluffy stuffed dog will keep her my baby, but in a world that makes you grow up entirely too quickly, I’ll do what I can to keep the enthusiasm and spark of the innocent little girl in her alive. Blissfully unaware of the sadness and unknown of the world around her. Where iPods for kids and laptops for elementary school homework are the norm, it’s nice to go old school with an old fashioned stuffed animal.
She carried her bear home (Allie picked one too) and showed it around when we got home. I smiled. I want to believe that I can keep that carefree feeling in her as long as I possibly can. I want to believe that I can do everything earthly possible to shield her from the everyday negativity and reality of life.
Even if it’s just by making sure she is still a little girl with a new stuffed puppy.